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Madness is Genius…

So here is yet another night in which Jerri cannot fall asleep – seems to me that a pattern is emerging. I even tried sleepytime tea in hopes it would help to relax my body and shut off my mind – as we can all tell, it was an epic fail. Sigh…
I thought that since I’m awake anyways I would go ahead and update my blog, although I’m 99% certain nobody reads these things anymore. I sometimes wonder why I keep up with it at all, but I’ve come to the conclusion that it is quite therapeutic for me to be able to release my thoughts into the universe, regardless of whether they come across anybody else’s eyes. You may ask, "Well why not just write a journal then?" To this, my reply would be "OMG – someone’s reading my blogs!!" followed by "Saving paper = saving the environment / I can type way faster than I can write so I can type my thoughts as quickly as they come into my head and not forget / There’s a slim chance that someone famous could read my sometimes witty but mainly pedestrian blog, think it’s genius and offer me some sort of money." Pick any of these excuses that most satisfies you. I know the last one would most satisfy me, but I suppose we can’t always get what we want.
I’ve often thought to myself before that I don’t remember much of my childhood, outside of the fact that it was happy in its innocence and over completely way too fast. However, as of late I’ve been finding that I’ve been dreaming a lot of things I have forgotten; events, people, situations I have not thought of for years. Its left me feeling altogether strange – I always wake up feeling nostalgic, reflective, and somewhat melancholy, as if these sudden remembrances from my forgotten youth have made me want to stop the current flow of time and turn back the clock. I’m only 24, but I have these sudden, fleeting moments filled with panic, as if when I’m old I’m going to feel the same way I do now, and will have forgotten much of my life. I don’t know – it’s just as I’ve already stated – very strange. I am, thus far in my life, remarkably lucky. The pain and sadness of death has not touched me overly often – my maternal grandparents died when I was relatively young, and up until now that has been my only experiences with it. I do not state this to try and tempt fate, but it makes me feel as though the proverbial axe is going to suddenly drop and my life changed forever – and when I try to look back and remember important things, it’s going to be as it is now when I try to recall my childhood. I know it’s a terribly pessimistic way to view the whole situation, but it’s the way I feel and it is what it is. I cannot change reality, but sometimes, like now, I really wish I could.
Maybe it’s just the fact that I’m up later than I would like to be and the madness of the continuous lack of sleep is setting in. However, I have done some of what I consider to be my best thinking when I’m sleep-deprived so it can’t be all bad. It’s almost as if the foggy curtain of perception becomes thin and I can perceive things with a perfect clarity. The real kicker is, usually I’m in bed when I have these little epiphanies, and by morning all I can remember is the feeling that I had some grain of truth but it slipped though my sleepy fingers, and I know with complete certainty that even if I remember it at some later date, it will never be as clear to me as it was while I was lying still in the dark, not sleeping. See why I can’t sleep? My mind never shuts off.
Maybe I should just try the whole late-night snack thing. I’ve got Vanilla Almond Oatmeal Crisp cereal that I’m sure would taste pretty delish right now. Or I could watch crappy, late-night t.v. But usually that only results in me getting a headache. So I’ll just finish my blog update, post it, and try to sleep once again. Here’s to hoping I’m successful this time
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It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to!

So I guess I’m one year older today. 24, to be exact. I think it would be appropriate if I felt somehow older, wiser and more distinguished, but I really don’t. Actually, when it comes to birthdays I feel altogether indifferent – I really don’t notice the passage of time. People always ask "Where does the time GO??". Well I suppose my answer to that would be "Behind you or infront – depends on which way you’re looking…" All in all, my thoughts on turning yet another year older are………………………….
wait for it……………………………………….
You might have been waiting for a more interesting, exciting word. That’s when I say to you "It’s my party and I’ll be indifferent about it if I want to" – but imagine me singing it to that old song "It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to" – that should liven things up for you! Actually I never understood that song. Have you actually ever read the lyrics?
"Nobody knows where my Johnny has gone, but Judy left the same time – why was he holding her hand, when he’s supposed to be mine?
 It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to…you would cry too if it happened to youuuuuuuuu……..!"
If that happened to me, shit would go down altogether differently. MY song lyrics would be something like this:
"Nobody knows where my Johnny has gone, but Judy left the same time……What? He was holding that bitch’s hand? Well in which case he’s crossed the line"
 It’s my party, and he’ll cry when I get through with him, cry when I get through with him, cry when I get through with him – she will cry too and there’s nothing you can doooooooooo"
Ain’t no hoes gonna steal MY man on MY birthday – all I can say is Johnny had better drive far and fast with Judy, because I would mess that scurvy bitch up somethin’ fierce! AND then move onto him!! They would definatley be the ones crying! hahaaa – of course I’m only slightly kidding.
But really.
Anyhooo – I gotta go get myself respectable because Trev is taking me out for supper tonight😀 Yeah Yeah bitches!!!!
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Let the good times roll…

Happy New Year’s Everyone!!
I know it’s 6 days late. Luckily for me, my New Year’s resolutions did not include minding the time. So we’ll move on…
As most of you already know, 2010 has started fantastically for me. I finally found out I am officially convocating from university!! That’s right bitches, I am now a proud university alumni with a Bachelor’s Degree in biochemistry. I love saying that🙂 No one knows just how much work, stress, blood, sweat and tears went into acquiring that degree (well..maybe not blood, but you get the idea). Science was not easy for me. Not one single bit. I could have easily gotten a degree in english, classics or religious studies – those classes took to me like a fish takes to water. However, while those classes are fun for me and I loved taking them, science just offers topics that are so fascinating that I knew I had to keep going in that direction. Honestly, if most people understood the sophistication with which nature works on a daily basis, I think appreciation wouldn’t even begin to cover the level of emotions they would experience. I still remember sitting in my second year biochem class, learning about metabolism. That class was hell for me – absolute hell. But learning about how the body is capable of functioning with such precision and how it copes when encountered with problems was mind-blowing to me. All of nature works this way – things that people take for granted (like the fact that plants are able to consume carbon dioxide and emit oxygen) requires an overwhelming level of organization, which it does (in most cases) effortlessly. It is utterly perfect in its simplicity, but overwhelming in its power. The power of the natural world far surpasses, in my mind, anything that humans can come up with. Modern technology is amazing, but really is nothing compared to how the natural world has been functioning since the beginning of creation. The level of sophistication is really awe-inspiring. That’s why, even though a science degree was a huge struggle for me to complete, it was the only area that kept me wanting to know more, and really gave me a new appreciation for the nature of things (no, not david suzuki…the ACTUAL nature of things). So, this is my official congratulatory pat on the back to myself for having actually achieved something that was really hard for me to do – I am proud of myself, and still can’t quite believe I did it. So, I feel it quite appropriate to say, at this time: "YAY ME!!"😀
Now comes the awesome struggle of finding a job and becoming a useful member of society or some other such nonsense. Isn’t that just all adult-y of me? I actually got a phone call while I was writing my last final exam to interview with the city for a lab job. How lucky am I? If I got a job right out of university I would consider myself especially lucky indeed!! Although, for how long and hard I’ve had to work for my degree in the first place, I kind of get the feeling that the universe is finally deciding to give me a break. Whatever it is, I’m gonna take it and run with it! I interviewed for it already on monday, and I had to go in yesterday for an actual lab componant part of the interview. I had to do 3 tests, most of which I hadn’t done in a couple of years, and had only performed for one semester – yikes! I did my best though, and that’s all I can do. The lady interviewing me actually said I did quite well and had good lab technique for just coming from university (whatever THAT means). I’m not sure if she was just trying to be nice, but I left there feeling alright about myself. She then had one of her co-workers give me a tour of the place, and I went on my way. The moment of truth should be sometime early next week, so my fingers are crossed that my good luck streak continues!!
So, 2010 has started out well – here’s to hoping it lasts! My new year’s resolutions are as follows:
1) Eat healthier foods.
  – I am not a cook. I CAN cook, but that certainly doesn’t mean I do. I don’t like it, but I DO like food, and the notion that my arteries aren’t clogging up with every bite. So I’m trying to be more grown-up and use some of those cookbooks stashed away in my cupboards, gathering dust. I am a fan of crock-pot cooking. You leave in in there all day and *SURPRISE* you have a hot meal waiting for you when you get home! Is there anything better? We shall see…..
2) Avoid drama (and drama-causing people)
 – It occurs to me that I am so much more stressed out and unhappy when I have uninvited drama in my life. I am a laid-back, easy-going person. I go with the flow, and really do not appreciate when I have to deal with someone else’s drama. Some people absolutely feel this NEED to cause drama, like it’s an essential part of their DNA.  All in all, I feel that it is prematurely causing me to have wrinkles and I have decided I don’t need it in my life – hence this resolution!
3) Get a job.
 – This one is pretty self-explanatory. I am no longer a student, so I have got to join my fellow humans and get a job. I have to say, the prospect of making money instead of being a poor hobo does have its appealing qualities!
4) Read more books.
 – I feel like my university years is comprised of nothing BUT reading books. However, this resolution is strictly talking about books I WANT to read – like I have mentioned before, I have had Paradise Lost by Milton lined up for quite some time, but never actually found the time to read it. Time, it seems, is quite elusive and sneaky! I have a TON of books that I have on my "want-to-read" list, so I am hoping to actually *gasp* READ them!
That is all I have for the time being. Might seem relatively boring to most, but then most things in the world are relative. To me they sound quite perfect.
Anyways, if anybody still reads my little random thoughts anymore, comment and let me know what YOUR resolutions are, and what you are hoping for in 2010.
Let the good times roll…
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Wide Mouth Mason

So. Boxing day. Let’s discuss…
I had to work boxing day at the mall for 8.5 hours…yeah. It went exactly how you think it would. So we’ll just leave that alone – needless to say I was NOT a happy camper by the end of the day. But, oh, then the night came along…
To start, we went over to a friends house and began pre-drinking. Did you know that wine tastes really good out of a wide-mouth mason glass? I know right? Who knew? Well I do, now – there’s nothing quite so classy and sophisticated as drinking a half a bottle of wine out of something resembling a very large jam jar with a handle. Got the job done proper though. From there we went to lumsden to the hall they have there. Every year they have a big shin-dig where everyone comes home and basically parties their faces off. Very run of the mill stuff for small towns. Anyways, the events of the night were fairly predictable: drink, laugh, drink more, dance, drink, drink…I am actually very  happy to report that boxing day encompassed almost all of my goals that I wanted to achieve since being done university as outlined in my previous blog (Disney watching and sleep is to commence tomorrow). Anways, point is boxing day started out horrible and ended in a splendastically fantabulous bang. I highly approve!
On a really random side-note, I just watched this commercial on t.v. for some phone dating set-up thingy, and I really have to say they are the most ridiculous things I have ever seen. First off, why do all these commercials show hot girls dressed in really skimpy clothing and full face of makeup at night time? Why bother getting all did up when you’re gonna be spending a thrilling adventure-filled night of talking on the phone to a complete stranger? That would be the day – I would be in my worn-out sweatpants and old t-shirt from high school, zero makeup, glasses and in all probability eating chips or some other unhealthy food. Not to mention, do we really believe all the hot popular girls are staying in on a friday night? Really? If you believe that, then I really do feel bad for you because you are a complete moron. To top off the particular commercial I saw, there was an unnecessarily creepy female voice whispering "I want to hear your voice" at the end of the commercial – WTF? She must have missed the memo stating that whispering like you’re in the middle of a B-rated bad horror film is about as seductive as a raging infestation of crabs. Sexy.
Fucking idiots. Seriously.
Anyways, that about wraps up my thoughts for the day.
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It occurs to me that yesterday’s blog did not feature my awesome and douche-faggy items of the day. My apologies, I know how much we all look forward and wait with bated breath for the items I deem worthy of mention……right? (You mean we don’t? Get outta town!..)
So here goes:
Jerri’s Super-Awesome Item of the Day
Hoar-Frost on the trees. Absolutely breath-taking to wake up to early morning fog and frosted trees, surrounded by soft lamplight. It’s like you’ve woken up inside a completely other world, one where it’s silent and cold and beautiful, and for a couple moments you fully believe anything could be possible. Love it!
Jerri’s Super Douche-Faggy Item of the Day
The consistant -40*C weather it took to get the hoar-frost on the trees. Really, Mother Nature? You REALLY feel that -47*C (with the windchill) is necessary? What I think is necessary is for you to stop being such an attention whore ("Oh look at me, I control the weather!") and grow the f*ck up! Bitch!
And there we have it! Enjoy!
Oh, and happy holidays everyone! And a happy birthday to my ever adorable nephew Kale, whom I love and wish I could see right now! Auntie loves you to the place where forever has an end, and then a little bit past that! I sincerely hope he holds onto his innocence for as long as possible – it’s a beautiful little window in time that closes all to quickly I fear.
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We’re All Mad Here…

That’s right bitches! Jerri is back! Not necessarily new and improved, but I’m sure we’ll manage…
I wrote my last final on the 22, and am now fully prepared to do WHATEVER I fancy, which includes using words like "fancy" to mean "like". It also includes the following, in no particular order:
1. Watching every single Disney classic that I can get my hands on. Most importantly, Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, and The Little Mermaid. I think we can all appreciate a little get-away into a time when we were all much more innocent and naive. Good for the soul, it is.
2. Sleep. It’s seems like such a long time since sleep and I had our last date. I rather miss him.
3. Vodka. Of the vanilla variety. I also miss him. But come boxing day, I’m going to make up for lost time like it’s my job.😀 This will lead to..
4. Dancing – as in, staying out on the floor all night and becoming a sweaty beast kind of dancing. I love to dance, and unfortunately a girl can’t go dancing unless it’s at the bar (which I could definately do without). But, we all have to make sacrifices I suppose..
5. Reading things that don’t include "Science", "Biology/Chemistry/Biochemistry", or "Methods and Principles" in the titles. I’ve been wanting to read the actual books of Peter Pan and Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (because I LOVE how f*cked up the stories themselves REALLY are – quite different from the Disney interpretations, I assure you, when you look at the metaphors and subliminal messages. *LOVE*) –  I have also had Paradise Lost by Milton queued up for quite some time, so maybe I will do that one first…
6. Have a good nintendo session. If only I had a Wii, I would probably do Mario Bros 3 in a couple of hours. I know I sound like a total geek right now. I regret nothing!! I defy anyone to play good old fashioned mario brothers and not enjoy every damn minute of it. Who the hell doesn’t enjoy a good P-Wing every once in awhile? Not to mention little/BIG world rocks my socks every time! You just can’t top that stuff….
I know all the things I want to do seem trivial. I’ll have to solve world hunger another day I suppose. At this moment, it’s all about the little things – besides, all work and no play make Jerri a dull girl, or some other appropriate movie phrase.
Also, a question – has anybody else ever had the feeling like they want/need/yearn for something but they don’t even know what it is? I’ve been feeling as of late that I need something, something that will forever change me as a person and make me grow, but I don’t know what that "something" is…which is weird – how can you want something when you don’t even know what it is you desire? I don’t know how to fully explain it, but it feels that my soul has been laying dormant and needs something, some spark to kick-start it and make it…be. Ughh…sometimes I hate not being a bigger english nerd so that I can actually have the language and vocabulary to express what I’m feeling, but suffice it to say I’m in a seeking, yearning, needing, wanting, *any-other-synonym-inserted-here* phase. And since I don’t know what it is, I can’t really do anything about it. I just want change, to BE changed, to expand……or maybe I just need to catch up on #2 in my list :S
Anyways. Let’s all just come back in from Jerri’s little side-tangent. I hope everyone is having fantastic Christmas holidays and is spending good quality time and laughs with family and friends. Because that’s what it’s really about, you know? Family and friends – nothing is more important, so really take the time in amidst the rush and bustle and general craziness of Christmas-time to actually BE THANKFUL for what you have. I know I am : )
Merry Christmas to everyone and I wish nothing but good things for you all!
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